Posted by Serenity in You Say Things Now | 21 Comments
Friday Advice from You to Me
1. Rachelle Gardner (you can find her link under lit agents on the right) has a post today about how important it is for aspiring writers to read, specifically for them to read books in their genre. I need some recommendations on this, People. What’s my genre you ask? I don’t know!! Dear Hollywood is probably, almost definitely, young adult. And the other two budding ideas have young adult characters as well – i.e., late or post-high-school. They qualify as young adult, I think, because they’re still making decisions about their life. (Like any of us ever stop doing that.)
So I need to read some modern novels with characters like that. Christian and non. I like a big story more than “here’s what happened one crazy summer”. And although I enjoy bonnet books (aka, the Amish or historical types), I’m looking for characters in today’s world. I’m not particularly looking for gritty teenage stuff. Though if you love something like that, please recommend it, and let me know that’s what it is. Hopefully you know what to do from here.
2. Does anyone know what the Super Nanny says about potty-training a 3-year-old? I generally love her concepts, and I need to convince the Jakester to use the toilet for all forms of restroom-type needs. He’s got the peeing down pat. I even found his nighttime diaper pulled off (and dry) in front of the bathroom door this morning. Of course, I also found him wearing only pajama bottoms when I got him up this morning. But other uses of the toilet? Not so much. And it’s getting really gross. And Michael says it’s time for corporal punishment, and I just don’t see that method quite fitting the crime in this case, though I do feel we’re into a behavioral issue more than control at this point. So what would the Nanny do? Anyone know?
3. I’m making a video trailer for THE THANK YOU ROOM. It’s pretty cool – music, voice-over, photos. It’s totally going to make my mom cry. I’m going to put it up on the My Writing page for sure – as sort of a video proposal to any editors out there. But listen. If I get a contract on this book, typically it won’t be published for two years after that. Yikes, I know. So is it really too soon to try and raise public interest? Does anyone have great advice on this? Would you, for instance, drop an email to an (as-yet unpublished) address that you were interested in hearing about the book’s status? If, say, you enjoyed the trailer? Discuss.
And those are my three things. You say things now.
I probably read more YA than other books. May I recommend a Sarah Dessen book, a Jenny B. Jones book, something by Meg Cabot? Also I love Sara Zarr and John Green and Laurie Halse Anderson. The last three are probably more serious reads than the others but there is still humor and they are all excellently written.
This is gold, Sarah. Thank You! I’ve officially added every one of them to my must-read list.
Obviously no one wants to go out on a limb on questions 2. and 3. so, I’ll give it a shot. On potty training: we are talking about a different set of muscles and a different skill set for control and predictability. And, I once knew a little boy who simply didn’t have time to sit on the stool for a function that took more than three seconds. You might try perching him there with a book to look at during strategic moments of the day, like after he eats.
As for the trailer, I want to see it today!!! I think posting it on your blog at this time might be fine. You can always use it in a larger context once you have a publication date. Your agent will probably have good advice/opinion. In the meantime, just make it and send it to your mother:)
I will have to give the first one some thought as those are not the type of books I usually read (although I WILL read yours when it comes out:), on the potty training- been there done that- don’t like to give advice, all kids are different, but your Mother is right about the muscle control, attention span, etc. HOWEVER!! when Nic was in this stage in life, unlike Audrey he simply wouldn’t, couldn’t do it. His dad stepped in and bribed him-yeah I said bribed him with an brand new red tricycle. We both knew corporal punishment wasn’t what we wanted to do, so Rog listened and watched, and when he heard something the kid REALLY REALLY wanted, he used it as bait. Worked–one week he was a pro- he was also 3+ years old. Good luck–like I said they are aaaallllll different, and Nic always was a sucker for anything with wheels.
Regarding potty training: I have no advice. Sorry :(. But I feel for you! Elsa has been pee trained since October, but is still pooping her pants. I agree: yucky. If you have any Aha! moments, please share. I will do the same!
We had trouble with getting Dora to poop in the toilet as well. She had the pee thing down a year before we could say she was completely potty trained. We tried a chart where for each time she pooped in the toilet and not her pants she would get a star and at the end of the day if she hadn’t pooped in her pants she would a get a bigger reward (candy, I think?). We set a goal of three days without poop in pants and then she would get a big prize, ( don’t remember what it was, some toy she was really into). We also got her big girl underwear that she could wear if she would poop in the toilet. I also stopped using pull ups at home and dealt with the mess. It was gross, but finally she mastered it. Good luck!
I think a trailer is a cool idea.
I second Sarah Dessen. Love, love, love her. Ann Brashares just started a new teen series called 3 Willows which I also loved.
And I would totally get pulled into a book via a video trailer–especially one from you! You’re good at video.
My first son potty trained at two, and my just-turned-two-today son is mostly “poop” trained, so maybe I just have kids that are easy to train. We schedule a long potty time into our day. He has to sit there while I read to him (or we sing songs, or count, or whatever). When we first started, we did it twice a day (at or before the times he usually went, such as after lunch/before nap or before bedtime). This got him into the routine of going at the same time, and made it less of a struggle to stop playing and go potty. I guess we are kind of backwards, because we actually trained both of our boys to poop in the potty first, and when they had mastered that we worked on the pee. In light of that, I don’t know if this will help, but since you asked, I thought I would let you know what worked for us. I hope you find the right thing that will work for you and your son.
you don’t know me, but i follow you’re blog. i love “young adult ficition”. there is a book called “riding through the shadows” it’s a story about a little girl who is African American in the 60′s and some things that she goes through. it’s by sharon ewell foster. it’s a good and addicting read.
Thank you, everyone, so much for all the great thoughts! I can’t wait to read your suggestions and, you know, bribe my son and stuff. :) And, Adrienne, so nice of you to comment and let me know you’re there!
I’m a bit late in commenting – but I’d recommend anything by Shannon Hale. Her Bayern series (The Goose Girl, Enna Burning, River Secrets and the forthcoming Forest Born) is excellent.
Seren…When I worked at Head Start with 3-5 year olds, when one was working on potty-training and had an accident, the teacher pretty much put it back on the child to take care of himself, i.e. the teacher would take the child to the bathroom and be a support to him, but the child had to help clean himself up, the teacher didn’t do it all for him. They would say things to him like, “oops, I see you had an accident, lets go to the bathroom so you can clean yourself up.” It was all very matter-of-fact, not overly negative, b/c some kids like attention even if its negative attention – teachers weren’t all smiles nor frowning. I think the teacher might even busy herself with another task in the bathroom so she was still there to oversee but conveyed to the child that it was his responsibility. The teacher would help when necessary but for the most part the child had to take the yucky ones off, clean himself (teacher help but not do all), teacher hand him new pants that he would put on himself, clean any mess up on floor himself, put yucky ones in a bag, wash hands, etc. – it eventually would become too much work and the child eventually would learn it was easier and quicker to just go to the bathroom in the first place. This may be no help whatsover, but just the things that came into my head! We were very lucky with Julia -she was potty trained at 2 and did it all herself – I don’t feel like I “trained” her or taught her anything! She showed interest herself at 19 months and literally put herself on the potty! Jared and Jenna were both 3 so I was not expecting that at all but it’s awesome! I do think books help and routine, like you always go 10-15 minutes after meals, right after nap, etc. I don’t know that I would read to him there or give a lot of “extra” attention though – I would save that for other times – and especially after he’s successful; just try to make potty time simple and routine…okay I’ll stop rambling now… :-)
Oh, you’re not late, Katie! I’ve just added your suggestions to my list. Thank you!
Sara, that helps a lot. Michael suggested that as well, but it was back after the first time or two and I wasn’t willing to try it at that point. I think that’s probably the thing to do now.
Hi. This has totally nothing to do with your post, but for my information…..have you read Further Adventures of Avonlea? Should I have it in my Green Gables collection at the library, or is it just notes, and left over stuff? Marilyn
Marilyn, do you mean “Further Chronicles of Avonlea”? Chronicles of Avonlea and Further Chronicles of Avonlea are collections of short stores. Anne is at least mentioned in some or most of them – kind of like cameos. :) So they’re pretty fun to read for true Anne fans. There’s one story I particularly like that fleshes out a party Anne went to the night before Gilbert proposed to her. I love that one. And I’m almost done with the prequel. I’ll blog about it soon. It’s really wonderful.
Thanks. I will check the Amazon cite to be sure I have the right title on that and add it to my current order.
I love YA fiction, and have several suggestions–my favorite is “Cress Delahanty,” by Jessamyn West. It’s an older book; late ’40s or early ’50s, I think. It’s about a girl’s life from age 12 to 16. She has a difficult time, most of it self-inflicted, but it’s a beautiful story, and so well-told.
Also, I”m sure you know the “Wrinkle in Time” series by Madeline L’Engle, but do you know her Austin Family series? The first book is “Meet the Austins,” and there are several more, which I read & re-read (still pick them up now & then)–the family I wish I had grown up with! She also has other books geared to the YA audience–”Camilla” comes to mind.
A third writer that I just thought of (saw her book on my shelf) is Betty MacDonald, and her first book is “The Egg & I.” This memoir was made into the first Ma & Pa Kettle movie, again probably in the last 40s–it starred Fred MacMurray if I remember correctly–the book is better, but the movie is very funny. She wrote another memoir about her bout in a tuberculosis sanitarium–really good writer. The material is dated–I recall in one book she & her friends are debating whether smoking cigarettes is bad for children! But if you love good writing, it’s worth the find–I think some may be out of print.
Hope this helps!
Mini Me potty trained herself, for the most part. Motor Mouth was almost 4 when he was finally potty trained. I have read a lot of potty training books and online info. I can tell you that the method that finally worked is not a method the experts recommend. Motor Mouth’s friend came to stay for a few days while his mom was out of town. We said, “Kai is a BIG boy. Kai goes pee and poop in the big boy potty. You wear diapers. You’re a baby.” It should be noted that jewel of parenting was repeated several times in a very taunting manner by both parents. It worked.
Yes we are saving for therapy for our son. Yes it worked. Yes he got into K4 because he was potty trained. Post our picture in the bad parent hall of shame. Or add this method to the potty training books.
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i thought last night while trying to go to sleep and i remembered some books i loved dearly in high school that were a must read for me every summer. they are:
books by Cynthia Voight (any of them. i just googled her name and found some information), the face on the milk carton by Caroline Cooney (and the books that follow that one), and the book the girl in the box by oudia sebestyen (i guess this was a true story, although i don’t remember that part) and of course Tiger Eyes (i remember this one being semi-controversial, but i still read it.) if i can think of any more i’ll let you know.