Posted by Serenity in Being Mama | 7 Comments
the hope part, at least, I know is true
One night this week I wanted to make up for a really hurried and stressed-out good night visit the night before, so I read the boys a comforting bible verse before I prayed for them. The book of Jeremiah didn’t really even register in my verse-knowing repertoire until some time in college when I heard this one. Since then, I’ve heard Jeremiah 29:11 more than almost any other. It’s one of those verses kind of snatched from a very specific moment in Israelite history that we apply to our own individual lives now. But the words, if we can apply them that way, are extremely comforting.
‘For I know the plans I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’
I don’t want to talk about the times I’ve burst into tears on Mom’s shoulder because maybe this verse wasn’t true at all. The times when I could see as plain as cancer and death and murder and sadness, that it can’t possibly be true for everyone.
Instead I want to talk about what John said next. He said, “That is a good prayer, because tonight when I was running with Papa, I was feeling really tired. And we had only gone one mile. And I was thinking about how much I want to be a professional athlete, and how I’ve heard that during spring training and stuff they run a lot, and it’s really hard. And I was wondering if I’m going to be able to be on one of those teams.”
I could not believe the intensity of his thoughts. I knew he wanted to be a professional athlete, but I thought he was still in that stage like how Jake sometimes thinks he’s a dinosaur and Drew doesn’t know what the heck he wants to do. But, no, he thinks about it and worries about it and wonders if he can make the cut during spring training.
I felt so sad for him. Do you know the percentage of little boys who grow up to actually be on professional athletic teams? I don’t, and neither does Michael – but we have an idea because we had an argument about it that not even google could settle. It seems to be very, very small – that percentage. And I wondered when John’s thoughts about spring training will turn into an all out reality check in which he ends up perusing college handbooks for business degrees and other depressing plan Bs.
Two things I’m thinking. One: I hope I never miss it when my children weigh such grownup thoughts. And Two: I hope they always make it through those moments when it seems like Jeremiah 29:11 isn’t true.
Now that I think about it, I’ve seen that verse more times in the past 2-3 years than in all my life combined. (Wonder if God is trying to tell me something.)
I’m guilty of reading that verse in all the wrong ways. When I want something really badly, well OF COURSE Jer 29:11 is saying I will get it (and to relax, eat Twizzlers and expect it to fall into my lap). When things are going badly and I feel depressed, I read it with an ounce of bitterness and think it applies to someone else, not me. Or it is good “in God’s way,” not mine.
So yeah, me and that verse have a bit of history. When I read it the right way (or at least, less jadedly if such a word exits), it makes me really hopeful. And actually, I find that sometimes hope is better than achieving what you hope for. Just sometimes ;)
I love John’s wisdom and honesty. I hope he stays on Plan A, at least for a while :)
I’m actually comforted by the fact that Jeremiah wrote those words to people who had just been sent into captivity for the next 70 years. And he finished it up by telling them to build houses, raise kids, welcome grandkids and establish lives while they waited for the plans to come to pass. Evidently, God’s Plan B is really Plan A, and it turns out pretty great.
Oh, my heart is breaking into a million little pieces right now thinking about my John worrying about Spring Training! Oh my gracious! And I think you probably ought to start preparing yourself for awesomeness, because I don’t know any other almost ten-year-olds who go running with their father for exercise. On purpose! I’ll write the Cardinals a letter right now! YOU WANT THIS KID! You know that’s what many of the most successful professional sports stars say, that they were not necessarily the most naturally talented but they were willing to work hard. This boy could be going places . . . Luckily for me, it will start at Mizzou and he WILL get his Aunt Lici free tickets, right? ;) I love that kid.
Sarah, it does kind of remind me of the scripture in Psalms that says “Man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps.” And the cosmic good versus my immediate happiness – yea, that’s a fun dynamic. :)
Mom, when I introduced you and your new blog I forgot to mention your uncanny ability to glean the most comforting illustrations from the Old Testament. You’re like a Jewish Mama in that way.
Ah, Felic, that is just the heartbreak I was feeling. And, you’re right, hard work does seem to be the most common theme in these stories. And, heck yeah on the free tickets!
What a beautiful glimpse into your son’s world. I’m reading Jeremiah myself right now!
Serenity, just this week I was talking about these same 2 things. First, let me tell you, Jeremiah 29:11 became ‘our scripture’ the first few years of Jazz’ life. I had a conversation about how difficult it is to get into the majors. But reading about John wanting to be in the majors, made me think he could do it. John has 2 great, supportive parents. He has begun to count the costs at a young age. I think John has a better shot at it than most kids.