Posted by Serenity in Life, what's up | 25 Comments
I Never Liked It Anyway
The girls in books lose their hair in fevers or sell it to get money for some good deed, and I’m sure I wouldn’t mind losing my hair in some such fashion half so much. But there is nothing comforting in having your hair cut off because you’ve dyed it a dreadful color, is there?” ~ Anne of Green Gables
Earlier this week, I took at their word one of the many people who’ve said, “Call if you need anything.”
Some people have had worse tasks than others in that context. My sister-in-law cleaned out my fridge – and other places – without being asked actually – right before we came home from the first round of chemo. That’s not a very pleasant task, because she wasn’t here to watch me discover all she’d done, to see my face with awe and gratitude on it.
My aunt made me chicken soup, which I ate on for almost one full week. It was the only thing that tasted good for a while. That task wasn’t too bad, probably, though sweeping my floors and straightening my kids’ rooms – which she also did – was probably less than enviable.
I think this friend had one of the harder ones. I called her out of the blue when I realized my hair was going. My usual stylist was home with a sick baby. So I called Lisa. She’d never cut my hair on a good day, and it was asking an awful lot for her to cut it on that day. I also accused her of planting another customer nearby who voluntarily assured me I looked pretty with hair that short. When I put on the hat above, she said I looked like I was going shopping in New York City. Then I knew Lisa had paid her, because what better compliment could you pay a girl like me?
So thanks to the people who’ve offered to help. Thanks to those who have – driving my kids around, watching my kids, bringing us food. But this post is a special thanks to the people who had the most difficult tasks. And so the biggest thanks goes to Michael, who did the final haircut this morning – though cut is a generous term – and who did it while I cried.
I’m not sad. I feel pretty brave about it actually. And I’m happy to discover I’m not nearly as vain as I thought I was. But sometimes, the tears just sorta fall on their own.
Trackbacks/Pingbacks
- Beauty and Beasts | Rare Rocks - [...] other things are happening this week. Today Serenity wrote about finally losing her hair. And I hate that. All ...
(((((((((((((HUGS!)))))))))))))))))
Thank you for keeping us up on your triumphs and struggles. Triumphs of seeing the blessings of helpers and support system, and realizing your not as vain as you thought you were, and the struggles of finally having to do “it”.
So let the tears fall……just let them fall.
I have to say, you look pretty hot with Halle Berry hair.
And it’s OK to let the tears fall. Hugs to you. Thanks for letting us know how it’s going.
I am bawling like a baby right now. So sorry about the hair, but so thankful for Michael who loves you like crazy no matter what. Doug did Denise’s last cut also btw. And you are so beautiful no matter what is on your head. Love the hat! Very chic! (Can’t get an accent syllable. Makes me want to write “sheek”.) Love, love, love to you my darling!
You look SO very hip in that hat, and the short haircut looks gorgeous! You have a beautifully-shaped face and head that can totally pull off that look, so no more worrying about that stuff! You’re doing great, my dear. My prayers continue for you.
I remember that scene from Anne of Green Gables so well! How about this quote – “I’m not a bit changed–not really. I’m only just pruned down and branched out. The real ME–back here–is just the same.”
- Lucy Maud Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables
You look smashing! I wish you felt smashing . . . wait, I bet you would like to smash something! : ) Keep hanging in there. It’s all you can do and all we need you to do.
I love you girl! And yep, you still look as beautiful as ever! I hope you remember that we are just a matter of streets away if you need ANYTHING. And I’m glad you are taking people up on these offers – its hard for me sometimes to know exactly *what* to offer, so I love it when people can say what they need. I would be honored to do even the most mundane, trivial, and even less-than-desirable tasks!
I’m going to smash some ice in the sink. Then, I’m going to yell, really really loud. Then….I’m going to thank God you’re in my life. I LOVE that hat on you, and I didn’t get paid one cent to say that. I swear. *HUGS* just 2 more……2 more and you’re done. You can SO do this. And look fabulous while you do, Miss New York =)
You know what I think of you no matter how YOU think your hair looks.
Love you lots and lots.
We’re with you in our thoughts and prayers, and like you, will be glad when its over.
Hang in there.
Judy, you’re awesome. Thanks for that!
And thank you all for braving a post like this and posting your kind, wonderful comments.
Oh Serenity… tears bring healing to the heart so let them fall. I love you and you are pretty no matter what because you SHINE like no one else I know right now. Thank you so much for being so brave and sharing your heart.
I’m kind of out of words on this one. Therefore, I’m doubly grateful for our eloquent friends.
I’m so glad you married Michael Bohon.
You’re way too beautiful to be a boy no matter what!!!!! I think the hat is awesome on you, but you’d look great no matter what! And tears? Well, why wouldn’t they fall? Tears are the diamonds of life…they come from great stress just like diamonds and they come from joy that shines like diamonds. They come from sadness of all kinds but shine just as bright as the stars in the sky. Just think of those tears as “diamonds”…the most precious of gems. That’s what I think of your tears. Precious as diamonds. We love you with all our hearts! Aunt Ejie and Uncle Larry
No joke, just read this, “‘This is what the LORD, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you.” 2 Kings, 20:5
Amen and amen.
I know you don’t know me very well, but I’ve been following your story. I have to say I noticed you the last time I saw you visiting your family in Heartland from across the church. I saw such a quiet strength that I know God has given you.
You are in my prayers and your faithfulness is touching lives you don’t even know about.
Ejie, I love that diamonds thing! Thank you. And, Molly, what a beautiful scripture. Amazing.
Jessica, thank you! Did you hear that, Mom? A quiet strength! We’ve always joked in my family that I don’t live up to my name at all – I can be so dramatic, so emotional. It means a lot that people can see I’m growing more into my name. What a beautiful compliment.
Yep. A quiet strength. I’ve seen it for months now.
You are an inspiration.
I don’t know what to say… but thanks for sharing.
I’m not surprised the customer said what she did. You totally have the bone structure to rock the Halle Berry.
*hugs*
Wow. So hard. I wish I could come hug you in person, my dear.
But I hope it helps that like Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams YOU HAVE THE FACE TO ROCK SHORT HAIR. You have such lovely, fine features!
You look like a fabulous movie star. Hand to god you do.
Hi Serenity
So sorry for all that you and your family are going through. Guess I’ll be one of those people who says “whatever you need, just ask”.
Be happy to help with the kids, or with Clay, or run errands.
Your next-door neighbor in the yellow house
Serenity,
I was visiting your site and reading through this post with tears as I realized the song playing through Pandora was “Praise is What I do” by Shekinah Glory; it ended only to be followed by “Make Me Over” by Tonex…Your are giving such a testimony of the One you Praise as you (and your family) walk through this. And as a line in “make me over” declares, “Lord remove anything that is unlike You”, may that be true in the physical all the more in your body.
You are an inspiration and you look radiant. Keep fighting!
There is nothing quite like that lump in your throat and the hot tears that rise in a sense of sisterly connection despite the fact that we’ve never met. thanks for letting us cry with you…
Serenity, chuck the hat anytime, because you have always been and will always be beautiful. Inside and out. One of the gifts you are giving is strength to each of us who read your writings every day. As I sit here and cry, I feel your strength calling and telling me to suck it up. I pray everyday for your speedy recovery.