Serenity Now » just for fun

the best thing I still have from 1986

Serenity — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 04:46:03 +0000

John gets his 80s on for a Decades Party. Authentic pinch-rolling by me.

I’ve been catching up on my InStyle reading, and I’ve learned some things you may care about. First, it is always spelled as one word. I’m pretty sure I’ve done that wrong on this blog before. (I learned this little tidbit in the Fifteenth Anniversary issue). The other thing I’ve noticed made me gasp and shudder and say these words, “The Eighties called. They want their clothes back.”

I’m not even kidding people – shoulder pads, harem pants (canNOT believe my mother ever let me wear something by this name), and – you know – big belts and buckles and stuff. Ug. In junior high Jason and Stephan and I made a bet with Mrs. Schlapia, the home-ec teacher. She bet us a Pepsi each that we’d be wearing bell bottoms by our senior year in high school, because all trends come back around. She didn’t win. I wasn’t wearing them until a year or so after my senior year (and I seriously doubt Jason and Stephen ever succumbed). But I think she could have bet me again on the Eighties. I thought that era was a terrible phase for the universe, like the year I tried to be a tomboy. I thought we could ALL look at those pictures and say what-were-we-thinking, Never Again, and put down that Aussie hairspray immediately, Missie, you’re going to break something – like the Ozone.

So, anyway, you’ll forgive me, InStyle issue September 2009, if I don’t run out for an updated version of the harem pants trend, something that really should never have existed in the first place, even if you’ve spotted actual celebrities in them. (Mrs. Schlapia, if you’re reading, I’ll buy you the Pepsi this time if I ever eat these words. Ever.)

There is one thing, though, that I’m way psyched to have kept from the Era of Aussie, like, totally, and that’s my husband. He’s every-day proof that life is better when you have someone to champion for you all the time no matter what. And he’s guest-posting on my blog this week. He’s going to give his take on something I talk about quite a bit around here and affectionately call The Cancer Year. And when you read it, I think you’ll see why I’m such a proponent of – well – him.

Everything I know… Is now in reruns on TV Land

Serenity — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 12:00:46 +0000

A glimpse into my life as a newly satisfied customer of Cable One:

I wrote a song today about how I want to be a Disney Channel girl – the long hair, with the perfect waves, being the star of my own sitcom AND getting to play princesses and singing sensations in my own movies. Very cool gig, that one.

I’ve seen Overboard twice now and rediscovered this great line from Andrew the Butler – it’s right up there with my favorite Truman Show philosophies:

Everyone is born with blinders on, knowing only that one station in life to which they were born. You, on the other hand, Madam, have had the rare privilege of removing your bonds for just a spell to see life from an entirely different perspective. How you choose to use that information is entirely up to you.

You can watch either Spongebob Squarepants or iCarly at almost any given moment of the day. Wait – that’s Drew’s favorite thing…

You can watch the Cosby Show at least four times a day.

And the other day – this episode from Little House on the Prairie:

Remember me with smiles and laughter / For that’s how I’ll remember you all / If you can only remember me with tears / Then don’t remember me at all

And that little beauty plays as a voice-over as little Alicia hugs Mr. Edwards’ neck (her new dad) and looks up toward heaven, presumably smiling at her mother WHO DIED. Those words were written by the mom and read at her funeral, which took place in the rain, as almost all good Little House funerals do. We had to leave the house before that epoch moment, but I taped it. And when I played it back later, I cried like a little baby. I missed you, Little House.

as if you didn’t notice

Serenity — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 14:20:55 +0000

Felicity has the most cheer-provoking video on her site right now, so if you haven’t seen it – get thee to Rare Rocks immedioso. It shall make you smile and, according to various responses, make you want to sing and/or dance, and/or organize a mass transit live show that looks like a spontaneous gathering of people proving the fact that Gloria Estefan is right and eventually the rhythm is going to getcha.

Since this is my new website, which I stare at several hours a day trying to decide how to make it just PERFECT, I thought I’d point out a couple of things like you’re taking a tour of my new house that you didn’t really want to take because you wish I’d just point the way to the bathroom already.

See the pretty initials in the picture here? You hopefully notice those beside my URL in the address bar too. It’s called a favicon, and it makes me feel very special. But despite my hard work finding the perfect font for those little letters and Dan the Man’s hard work turning them into the 16 x 16 little square you see, I wasn’t sure you could tell what it was exactly – and I wanted you to know, because it’s awesome.

If you’re new to the blog, you should check out the About tab, which now has links to a few classic Serenity Now posts, which means drama, traumas, hollywood, and the puzzling out of the meaning of life. Somewhere in the midst of them, you should be able to see me.

The little subscribe paragraph at the top of the right hand column lets you get new posts through email or RSS feeds like Google Reader. Google Reader, is my new favorite thing. You see how my blog roll shows who has updated the most recently? Google Reader is my own personal blog roll with all kinds of blogs I like to stay up on – but who can spend the time every day to check every single one? Google Reader does it for you, which is so cool.

Finally, there’s the My Writing tab, where you’ll find the links to articles I’ve had published online. There should be a new one added in a couple of months (I gotta get on that!).

I’m still tweaking – probably all the time for the REST OF MY LIFE – so don’t be surprised to see new things, new people in the blog roll, a sudden addition of a bright pink border along the sides, which will suddenly and inexplicably disappear because I SAW IT and Oh No, that was definitely the wrong pink, or perhaps a new header in the future – because oi vay, we’ve seen my face already!

I think that’s it for the notes and pointing-out-of-the-obvious. Did you go watch Felic’s video yet? GO! It’s so happy.

Missed Opportunity: George Clooney

Serenity — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 14:07:00 +0000

Hey, remember when I was in a movie? I just like to refer to it now and then. I found an article the other day about the film student who directed the short I was in (Brantley Ping, in the hat in this photo), and there is a photo referring to me as “actor Serenity Bohon.” You know I bookmarked that baby. After all, according to my 9-year-old (a couple posts earlier), it is one of the things for which I might eventually be famous. (You can see the article HERE, because I know you care.)

All of this brings me to today’s small regret. I could have been in a film with George Clooney, but I turned it down. (Keep reading for the realistic version of that statement that was SO FUN to write).

Mom has this awesome knack for passing along information for opportunities that probably sound like torture to her but which she knows one or the other of us would love. Enter a little ad she saw for extras in a George Clooney flick which would be filming at the St. Louis airport less than 4 hours from me.

I read all about it – you get paid, I don’t remember, eleven dollars a day or something. And the days are hours and hours and hours beyond a normal work day (Okay, like 11 or 12). But you’re in a film with George Clooney. (You see? That logic alone would have gotten me in this film. I AM their target audience.) And, listen, I had a whole other reason that was pretty good too. Research.

I’m writing a novel, and let’s just say knowing what it actually feels like on the set of a major film, or at least what it feels like to be within several yards of an actor you’ve previously only seen up close in your movie cabinet at home, would be priceless firsthand information. Unfortunately, I could have driven all the way to the audition only to find out I didn’t get to take part. OR, I could have driven all the way to the audition only to have to come back a second day. This is hotel and gas money I didn’t really have, what with the economy crashing around our heads, on the off-chance that I would actually be chosen. I was practical, People. And nobody ever got into a George Clooney movie BY BEING PRACTICAL.

So, I don’t know if regret is the right word. Those were some precious hours with my actual life that I don’t really wish I’d given up. Still, in a couple of years, George Clooney should appear in a film called Up in the Air (with Jason Bateman too – I’ve loved you in everything you’ve done, Mr. Bateman) in which he is a “corporate downsizer obsessed with collecting frequent flyer miles at the expense of having a life”. I’m thinking comedy more than dark drama. But I’m pretty sure, I’ll be the girl in the second to last row, crying.

in which I totally break the rules

Serenity — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 20:13:00 +0000

Remember chain letters? Facebook does something kind of like that, only with question and answer games. And instead of being promised thirty-six pages of stickers when it’s over (or any hint of being doomed if you don’t participate), it just promises that you’ll learn new things about your facebook friends. They’re usually pretty entertaining, although I’ve never done one myself. I figure blogging is enough talking about myself for one cyberworld – and twitter and all the sites I use for work. Anyway, I also get hung up on the part where you have to tag people. But there have been two I couldn’t resist. I played them but never posted them, and now I’m going to use my blog to exercise all kinds of “self-indulgent drivel” as Simon would say, and post the answers I want to.

The first asked questions that you answered by the title of whichever iTunes song came up next when set on random. That was a fun one, but most of the answers I think are only fun to me – after all, these are songs I’ve chosen because they mean something to me. The answer to, “What is your life’s purpose?”, for instance, was The Way I Am and to “What is your life story?” – Made to Worship. I did NOT like the answer to “What do your parents think of you?” (When Did You Fall) nor the song that will be played at my funeral, Happy Day. :) Feel free to refute the former, Mom.

I also couldn’t resist the questions that your children were supposed to answer for you. Some of these were awesome. John’s answers are first in black, Drew’s in blue – the same order as their picture above. (They’re 9 and 7):

What was your mom like as a little girl?

A little girl. Kind, nice.

If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

An actor or selling books. Writing thousands and billions of books.

I couldn’t believe they know exactly what I do for a job:

Works on a computer, works for this thing to persuade college students to go to these different places. Works on the computer and entertains people by making them want to go different places like New York, and writing books.

What is your mom’s favorite food?

Chicken chimichanga (correct). Chicken fajita. (close)

What makes you proud of your mom?

She chases her dreams. That she loves me.

If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Bugs Bunny – you’re funny and you’re smart. Mrs. Bohon. (I will in the future consider this the identity of a super – like Mrs. Incredible.)

What do you and your mom do together?

We talk with each other a lot. Talk by writing.

How are you and your mom the same?

Our eye color is the same. We both love each other.

How are you and your mom different?

She has a job, and I don’t. I’m a boy, and she’s a girl – I mean, WO-man.

How do you know your mom loves you?

She tells me that every day. Because every night she kisses me and says, “I love you.”

What does your mom like most about your dad?

He’s funny and handsome. They’ve known each other for a long time.

What is your mom’s favorite place to go?

They BOTH answered, “Mexican restaurants.” Which reminds me that I’m hungry.

***

I am especially proud at how often I tell them I love them and John’s completely awesome answer to what makes him proud of me. The itunes answer to the question, “What do you want right now?” was, Better Life. There could not be a more inaccurate answer than that.

(Although I do love that song because of how much I relate to it! Ah, the complexities of any one person.)

I learned to dance from a cowboy

Serenity — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 15:21:00 +0000

Last night’s Dancing with the Stars theme was for me, “What a trouper.” (Is it trouper or trooper?) Because with almost every contestant, I would make this little nurturing sound and say that phrase. With some it was just because this was their first time, and you could see their nerves begging them to stay in that stupid low-ceilinged room rather than subject themselves to that pressure. But they went out on that stage anyway, knowing the judges would criticize everything from their wayward bums to their gymnastic arms to their toe leads AND knowing that there was no possible way the majority of the American viewing audience could have any idea just how difficult it is to master the steps, the form, the choreography, and the emotion of the dance and manage to capture all of it at once. Seriously, we have no idea.

But besides simply the first time jitters, there were two contestants who had exactly two days to learn the dance, because they were replacements for those who were injured. ONE of these last minute replacements was dumped by her fiance on The Bachelor on national television only one week ago. I was just as impressed with her pretty dancing and subsequent comeback to life as ABC’s marketing department intended for me to be. (Even though the poor thing tried to tell us she is fine.) And then there was the cowboy.

The cowboy is Jewel’s husband, and the plan was that they would be the first married couple competing against each other. Then Jewel got hurt, and this poor shy cowboy is left all by himself on this national television program known foremost for its fake tans and sequined costumes. I really felt for this guy. He was so gentlemanly and unassuming, taking the criticism so bravely and stating without any sense of self-preservation, “I was very nervous out there. And I’ll try to do better next time.” Michael groaned when I suggested that we watch the show at all, but by the time the cowboy had danced Michael was watching with at least one eyeball and demanded someone get that poor man a horse so he could feel more comfortable.

So, obviously, they’ve sucked me in again with their colorful costumes and pretty music, and as always – though more noticeable this season – their bravery. Maybe it’s not the kind of bravery you care to have in life. I definitely get that. Learning to move your hips is probably a long way from your bucket list. But I still say there’s something to learn from all that dancing. And for me, last night, it was all about being brave.

(photo by Corey Ann on Flickr)

do you suppose Great Wolf Lodge will pay me for this endorsement?

Serenity — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 01:24:00 +0000

I remember Dad telling me once that kids like repetition. After being at a water park with Jake for two days, I’ve decided that is an understatement equal only to, I’m okay with eating chocolate and we sort of have to breathe to stay alive. I sort of got a clue the first day when the older kids were rarely in the same part of the park for longer than five minutes, most of the adults varied their activity off and on, and I sat watching Jake go up the stairs and down the red slide so many times that I ceased to discern the difference between the slide and the water. The next day Michael mentioned that he was feeling kind of ashamed that most parents were

in the pool with their kids while we sat idly by as Jake made a playmate out of his hand. I am not even kidding. He talks to his hand sometimes. He calls it Jakey, asks if Jakey would like to do this or that, answers, yes okay, and then does it. He also got really tired by the second leg of the second day and wanted to keep playing but could barely hold his head up. So, I decided to join him.

He held out his hand. We walked together up the stairs. He let go, plopped on the blue slide (the second day’s riveting variation) and slid down while I descended the stairs on the other side. Then he held out his hand again, I grabbed it, and we did the whole thing again until I was literally dizzy. Somehow walking around and around that little routine felt more engaging than just watching him do it. And I needed some variety by that point. Plus, he didn’t talk to his hand anymore as long as I was holding it.

We were at an indoor water park in Kansas City celebrating my sister-in-law Mary’s birthday. Which is interesting, because I didn’t see that girl go down a single slide. She even told me she’s squeamish – the heights, the plummeting from them – all of it. She has kids the ages of my older two, and one could assume that she chose the location for the uninterrupted rest and reading time that comes with the children being so happily occupied. Trust me, though, there are much quieter places to read and relax. Places where hundreds of children don’t run around you screaming, shaking water on you with their oblivion and dumping it on you on purpose if you chase your toddler through the jungle gym area underneath the log in which they have been storing it up. Places where the smell of chlorine hasn’t reached toxic levels. This, I believe, is the power of motherhood. To find a place thrilling simply because it is that thrilling to your children. We’re going to sleep right upstairs from three giant water slides and the pools and log-climby things and tree house with the giant bucket on top that dumps 1000 gallons of water every 5 minutes? AND I CAN GO THERE?! These are not the words of a twenty-five or so (you’re welcome, Mary) year-old woman. They are the words of her children, and therefore music to her ears. It is so stinking fun to thrill them.

more things I love about movies

Serenity — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 01:57:00 +0000

Question: How sad is it that most Americans are NOT smarter than a fifth grader? We have the board game at home, and I just failed half way through fourth grade. The question was something I really, really should have known. I’m embarassed to even tell you how much I should have known it. It had to do with the Alamo, and – well, I guess I just haven’t seen enough movies on that one. The way Drew and I play, though, is that you get lots of chances to keep moving forward. And I totally nailed my million dollar Q. You want to know why? The question was, “In what year did the Great Depression start.” So I replayed in my head something I’d read on my agent’s blog recently – that their Christmas party theme at the end of the year was “Party like it’s 1929.” I also know the year of the Newsies strike (from the movie) and a few important tid bits on World War I (from the eighth book in the Anne of Green Gables series). And, YET, don’t even think I could ace the pop culture section on Who Wants to be a Millionaire, because I only pay attention here and there even in that field that I love so much.

So, yea, I’m feeling kind of – well, not concerned – but interested – in the state of our intelligence. Because I know I’m not alone. I also know that at least I’m smarter than Kelly Pickler, who didn’t know if France was a country or not, and the teen Miss America contestant who stumbled over basic geography in a question about why American kids don’t know enough about geography and, seriously, most of the people interviewed by Jay Leno on the street outside of Universal Studios. I mean, that segment is just really, really sad.

Michael and I were talking about the economy today and various executive orders signed last week and the Climate Change formerly known as global warming. And of course, I eventually ran out of things I knew for sure and things of which I even had an educated opinion. That doesn’t take long for me when it comes to current events. I’ve paid more attention to the current presidency in two days than I ever paid attention before. I think it was the fingers-in-the-ears philosophy. If I don’t know it, it can’t scare me, la la la. I think I got that from a movie too. And I quote:

There’s always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser or a Corillian Death Ray or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out all life on this miserable little planet, and the only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they. . . Do . . . Not. . . . Know about it.

Isn’t that the truth.

extremely random movie thoughts, and by the way – Happy New Year!

Serenity — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 02:17:00 +0000

When I wrote about the Emmys a while back, I was sort of put out with Hollywood because I felt disdained by them – what with having voted conservative, um, ever. That post started quite the little discussion. But one friend didn’t comment at all – although she wanted to write something to the effect of, “Ah, Serenity is growing up!” because I was able to see anything other than red carpets and rosiness in my beloved Hollywood. Well, it’s been too long since I wrote about Hollywood now, and I don’t want anyone to wonder if I’ve grown up any further – because I haven’t – so I thought it was time. Consider this a huge catch-up version of “Movie Reviews From My Cabinet at Home.” In this case: A glimpse at some of the movies, new and (80s) classic, I can’t get enough of this Christmas vacation holiday. Now remember, we’re kids. I mean, um, we have kids. So it’s not like any of these were nominated for best picture. They just get us, okay?

First up, Kung Fu Panda. First, I love the Asian themes. Love them. When I watched The Last Samuri I suddenly wanted to clean my house. Just clean it, remove 90 percent of the stuff from it, and hang black-framed pictures of lone white lillies. Besides the Eastern inspiration that makes us want to cleanse our universe/cleanse our souls, Kung Fu Panda is freaking hilarious. We never laughed so hard in our lives – out loud in a movie theater – as we did watching Jack Black as an overweight Kung Fu trainee with a heart of gold. So. Funny. Plus, I now figure there are two kinds of people in this world: Those who believe there’s a secret ingredient and those who don’t.

Freaky Friday. The Oscars are so pretentious, aren’t they? Because if they weren’t, they never would have overlooked Jamie Lee Curtis’s performance as a teenager trapped in her mother’s body in this hilarious version of what was already a pretty great concept. Lindsay Lohan actually does beautifully as her mother as well, but Jamie Lee Curtis slays me. When the teenager-trapped-in-mom’s-body tries to read something and has to trombone it, Curtis says “Whoa, she’s blind!” in one of the funniest line deliveries ever, and that’s just one of the many scenes in this movie that she completely nails. I actually believe there’s a teenager in there. Believe it. And this realistic acting makes it all the more poignant when they whip out the schmaltz and actually make me cry. It’s a great movie about understanding each other. Period.

The Three Musketeers. I credit this movie for some of my downfall into a total adoration for the art of movie-making. It has everything – romance, great clothes and hair, heroes, sacrifice, brotherhood, and humor. I love the gentle queen who loved the timid king to whom her marriage was arranged. I love how fiercly the musketeers believe in their duty to protect that king. And the line, “Come, Dartagnon, we’re saving the king!” was as critical to our family’s movie-quoting history as “Goodbye, Boys, have fun storming the castle.” Major Nickerson nostalgia in this film, and I’m so glad we own it now.

Honey I Shrunk the Kids. I have no philosophical goodness to bring out from this movie. No one single thing. We own it because I got it for about 4 dollars, and I loved it as a kid. But seriously, when I subjected my children to it the other day, I still sat RIVETED by those four, poor, quarter-inch children trying to cross the massive jungle that used to be simply their back yard. I couldn’t wait for the humungous oatmeal cream pie and the part where they sleep in a Lego. It’s just good, clean fun.

Ratatouille. If you’re sensing a Disney obsession here, that’s because I’m in the DVD club. And incidentally, I adore the movie montage before Disney movies now where they play the fantastic score from Kevin Kostner’s Robin Hood. It gets my Hollywood eyes all starry. And Ratatouille is just so cute and culinary. It doesn’t exactly make me want to be a cook, but it makes me appreciate them very, very much. I’m so glad some people cared to turn our plain animal instict to eat things into an actual art. If there were only people like me in the world, ingredients would never have come together properly. Heck, we probably never would have peeled a banana.

Hancock. We don’t own this one, and we’ve only seen it once – but it was fairly recently. Will Smith is in it, which is a clincher for this fam. And he plays a really arrogant super power whose publicist (Jason Bateman . . . I think I still have a poster of you around here somewhere) convinces him to just look people in the eye now and then and tell them, “Good job.” Oh my goodness, do we like to deliver that line around here. Plus, I love the idea of a reluctant superhero and the way he is transformed basically by one man’s belief that he can better himself, a little boy’s unfettered admiration of him, and the choice to love selflessly.

Now, can anyone tell me which of these movies I should rush to see (or perhaps away from) currently in theaters? Because I think I want to see them all: Benjamin Button, Marley & Me (I already know – bring a box of Kleenex and try not to have ever actually loved any of your pets), Seven Pounds, Bedtime Stories, Valkyrie. Also, I got a couple months of free Netflix for Christmas, so prepare for another rash of brief, completely unhelpful movie reviews soon. Up first is Hairspray, and I hear Ghost Town is awesome.

photo credit: basha04 on Flickr

thoughts on the ballot

Serenity — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 17:44:00 +0000

I can’t wait to drop my kids off tomorrow and drive to my voting location to exercise my American right to have a say. It’s a beautiful thing, and I look forward to it. But I dread the fact that there will almost certainly be a few areas that I simply do not know how to vote. So I thought I would create a list of things I wish would be on the ballot tomorrow.

Proposition to extend the fall and spring seasons. We could call it the Goldilocks Bill – neither too hot nor to cold. Year round. I know some people prefer the extremes. Not me.

Longer lunch hours. Don’t Europeans take at least 2 hours there?

A permanent addition to school curriculum, “Letters to Home”. Mrs. Pasa of the Kirksville Primary School can lead the committee to put it into practice. Believe me, Parents, you want this one. It does your heart good.

Tax breaks for using recyclable bags at the grocery store and buying fresh fruit and whole grains.

Tastier whole grains.

A paid maternity leave for potty training.

A mandatory percentage for positive stories on news programs. Happy thoughts, People. It does the body good.

Some sort of entertainment bonus for sitting through all the campaign commercials lately. I think we’ve all earned at least a free trip to the movie theater. With popcorn.

Along those lines, I’d like a gift certificate to an American retailer along with my “I voted” sticker.

And, finally, an extension on the McDonalds Monopoly. I was so close.