The last time I wrote, on December 7, 2012, I said:
None of us really know how many Christmases we might get together. There are so many things in life that try to keep us from it.
One week later, Sandy Hook happened, and my heart broke a hundred times as twenty-six families had to realize that reality in a way I never have. I could not tear myself from the news for several days. I wanted to see the children’s faces, to try and come to terms with the reality so that maybe I could face it. I heard of one mother in this country who said to another that this tragedy that happened to strangers weighed more heavily perhaps than others have, “because we know what six looks like.” That was my reality the Monday after the event when I had to take my first grader to his school and leave him there.
It’s not fair that just two weeks later, I was through it. I had cried and panicked. I had endured two weeks of not being able to look at Jake without seeing violence attached to him and the new horrific possibilities we can no longer believe can only happen elsewhere. But I did get through them. And on the other side was a beautiful Christmas, completely unflawed. We got everything we wanted. We had every one of us healthy and together. We had days and days of no work, no school, all play. And the only thing I can offer to the people who did not have that, is that I was grateful. And I did not take it for granted.
It’s the new year now, and I have all kinds of good things to say about that. I love a new year, and I’m all naïveté and confidence when they finally roll around, despite everything I guess. It’s hard to keep moving when a thousand fall at our side, ten thousand on our other. But it’s what we have to do. We do it together. We do it with as much daring and kindness as we can muster. And that is how we win.
A very happy 2013. Let’s do this.